(Above) Finally, here's a personal favorite of mine: the infamous "skull and crowbars" that serves as the official symbol of Habitat for Humility.

"Habitat for what?" you ask.

Well, perhaps a bit of explanation is in order here, for those of you who've been too busy catching up on the latest celebrity trainwreck to follow the real news:

Habitat for Humility is a radical offshoot of the Earth Liberation Front that punishes ostentatious displays of wealth through acts of "aggressive non-violence." Heroes to some, terrorists to others, they've been known to strip luxury cars of their interiors, "deconstruct" mansions, and convert yachts to rowboats, all in the name of "rebuking the robber barons for their relentless assault upon the working class."

How do they do it? How, pray tell, do they manage to successfully target some of the most expensive homes in the nation -- houses with large staffs, uptight owners, and million dollar security systems -- and get away with it?

That's a question the FBI and local law enforcement officials would like answered ... and will get answered, just as soon as I complete my novel. ;-)